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The Relationship’s Magnifying Glass

Last evening I honored an invitation to my friend’s wedding reception. It was beautiful; the joy, the music, the food, happy times! They were happy together and made their December plans come true by tying the knot.

This got me wondering how long it takes for two twenty-somethings to make the statement almost every couple made at some point, ‘’We want to get married because we are in love, and we are committed to start fresh from here on. We’ve agreed we are not bringing our past into it – any past relationships, neither past hurt nor past interferences. It’s just me and him, we aren’t bringing any of that into our present.’’

We might have made these decisions too, with our girlfriends and boyfriends. Is it really true? It sounds really good but is it reality?

My take is that the way you were raised will definitely come into that relationship. The same applies to everything and everyone you are connected to today and in the past. This can range from old behavior, daddy issues and bad past experiences. The will pop out one day. If someone didn’t experience any of these, how about that companion you’ll meet one day and agree to settle with…

Marriage is huge, sacred, Life time! We get into relationships with secrets. When we date, we only show the best of sides. What would happen when the curtain is slowly pulled back and it reveals who we really are? This can be scary and astonishing. These worries are so debatable as in the show, Chic Chat on Capital FM.

The perspective at what we look at things matters. I usually say everything is what we make of it. For relationships, I’ll hold the magnifying glass over it for a little longer…

Congratulations to Josiah and Rosemona and thanks for handing me the ‘magnifying glass’

  1. Wanja
    January 24, 2010 at 10:49 PM

    Relationships are meant to be worked on they don’t go all smooth sailing and when people realize this they back out since it’s easier not to work than to put some effort.Two different people with different ideas,mindsets,upbringings will not always get along finding a compromise is basically how the story should go.If you want someone just like you it’s easier for you to marry urself.When your willing to work with the good,the bad and the ugly you are ready for marriage..I believe and when your will to share the bad and ugly you are ready for a relationship.Anyhu that’s my Idealistic opinion..it may vary in real life applications.

  2. Chiira
    January 25, 2010 at 7:41 AM

    Getting in and out of a myriad of relationships is what has always intrigued me since i get quite bored with doing the same things with one person for a long time. Am even wondering what people who take the ‘Big Plunge’ are thinking. That is one step that am not sure whether i will be able to take and also keep myself in check.

  3. January 25, 2010 at 8:53 AM

    Relationships are hard work. Mostly saying this because I’ve never been in one that has lasted longer than three weeks…which cannot count as relationships. Now am in one that has been like two months and am asking myself, what am doing? I feel like am stuck in a rut.

  4. January 25, 2010 at 11:54 AM

    I agree. Cementing relationship through marriage is one way of moving on… while at the same time locking the past ugly skeletons in the closet.
    I know for sure, I have a whole lot of past which I wouldn’t like my other half to know of… because that is the past, which cam only resuscitate a bitter painful ordeal. I’d rather let the nature take its cause instead of ‘my-openness’ determine the kind of relationship I want to be in.

    To be sincere, I wouldn’t want to know my partner’s horrid past. (Imagine your girlfriend confessing that the person to break her virginity is your best friend, and this was long before you met her. I’d be feeling guilty and angry whenever I see the guy, because he took something which belonged to me and ran away).
    It’s better we remain without a past.

    But then is marriage the end of an ugly past or the beginning of torment?

  5. nkirdizzle
    January 25, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    You are definitely right about how the way you were brought up affects your future relationships.
    I read somewhere that your parents relationship with each other has a direct effect on the way you behave or the role you will play in your relationships. The way your parents treat each other will affect how you treat your partner. If you are born in a single parent family, you may sick out a father/mother figure in such for compensation for the nurturing you lacked while growing up.

  1. January 25, 2010 at 12:28 PM

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